I'm sure by now you've all heard about the book "Go the F*** to Sleep." I can't count the number of times people posted this on my Facebook wall telling me how "hilarious" this was and how I "must" watch the video of it.
I never found it very funny. I found it offensive.
I know, I know. It's meant to be a joke. I get that. But, in addition to not liking the language it uses (I don't believe in having any book with F*** in its title in my home, whether it's intended for children or adults), I found the premise offensive.
As a single mom of children with special needs, both of whom have struggled with sleep issues for a long time, believe me, there have been many times I would have let these same words slip from my mouth. But I haven't. Because for a sizable number of real-life children (like mine), sleep problems require parents' understanding and compassion, not expletives. I know the book is intended to empathize with (and entertain) those parents who are just at the end of their ropes. Believe me, I've been there. Many a night I have been trying to get both of my kids to go to bed (or to stay in bed at 5 in the morning). And it would be easy for me to yell and curse (or to write a snarky book like this one). But I haven't. Because that's not what my kids need. They need my love and empathy (along with sleep training....something I know quite a bit about now).
So while I know many parents have guffawed reading this book, and shared it enthusiastically with their Facebook friends, some of us won't be laughing. Personally, I'll be grabbing a 15-minute power nap instead. ;-)
p.s. One more thing. I don't espouse cursing at your kids, no matter how infuriating their behavior (sleep-related or not) may be. This is something else I have a lot of experience with. Trust me. And I fear this book, even subtly, condones thinly veiled verbal abuse. I'm not the only one, apparently. Read this article on CNN.com. What do you think?
And, see, I found it exceedingly funny. You may be a much more patient person than I am; I hope I would be as patient as the needs of my kids warranted, but my kids are epic stallers, and sleep better with a firm "PRETEND you're sleepy and get back in bed." From my experiences, the book was spot on: no, you don't really need to go to the bathroom again, you just went. You have 6 stuffed animals in your bed -- you do not need the one you left downstairs last week.
ReplyDeleteThe problem I find with facebook posts like the one you are describing is the implicit assumption that all of one's facebook contacts are going to find the same things funny -- the hegemony of the funny. You don't like the book, fine, and I can easily see how having 15 people post about how you HAVE to read it, it is so HILARIOUS would be taxing.
Unrelated note: I love your site! 2 of my 3 are almost the same age as your kids, and your sale suggestions and finds are brilliant. Thank you for keeping it all together!
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ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with you more...I felt the same when I heard about this book. I haven't read it but I just don't find it amusing. I guess everyone has there reasons why it isn't so bad, but I think you make excellent points! thank you!
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that I thought the book was pretty funny (and it turns out that the author is an interesting guy). Having said that, I appreciate your take on the issue. You sound like an incredibly patient parent. Good for you! Most of us could stand to be more patient with our kids. For another interesting perspective on this book, check out this article in slate: http://www.slate.com/id/2297399/
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